Hearing Divorce Through a Child’s Eyes: Our Virtual Conversation with Bella Duncan

Recently, My Two Homes had the privilege of hosting an incredible virtual conversation with Bella Duncan, a young woman who grew up living between two homes. What are the chances that we would connect with someone who has walked the very path our children are navigating right now? It felt meant to be.

Divorce and separation are never easy. As adults, we understand the layers and complexities involved, but for children, it can feel confusing and overwhelming. They don’t always understand why the two people they love most can’t stay together. They don’t understand why their world suddenly feels different. They are left trying to make sense of changes they didn’t choose and may not fully comprehend.

From my very first conversation with Bella, we were in awe of her journey and how beautifully she came out on the other side. Bella lived in two homes for 20 years, and because of that lived experience, she carries invaluable insight into what divorce feels like from a child’s perspective. At My Two Homes, we knew her voice was one our parents needed to hear.

During our virtual class, Bella first shared her personal story with our group. It was honest, moving, and deeply inspirational. She spoke about what it was like growing up between two households, the emotions she carried, and the moments that shaped her. But what made the conversation so powerful was not just her story — it was her reflection.

Bella explained what would have helped her most during her parents’ divorce. She shared what she wished had been done differently and what made certain moments harder than they needed to be. One of the most impactful messages she left us with was the importance of never speaking badly about the other parent. She expressed how painful that can feel for a child, because children see themselves as a part of both parents. When one parent is criticized, it can feel personal.

At the end of the session, each parent had the opportunity to ask Bella questions, and she also thoughtfully answered questions that had been submitted beforehand. The openness of the conversation allowed parents to ask about real-life situations, emotional reactions, and communication challenges. Bella answered with honesty, compassion, and the clarity that only someone who has lived it can offer.

This talk was incredibly valuable and so needed within the My Two Homes community. We walked away with a deeper understanding of what our children may be feeling but not always expressing. We learned how to speak to them in a more empathetic and supportive way. We learned what not to do during emotionally heightened moments. Most importantly, we were reminded that while divorce changes a family’s structure, it does not have to damage a child’s sense of love and security when handled with awareness and care.

Conversations like this strengthen our mission. My Two Homes exists to support families and children navigating divorce and separation, and hearing directly from someone who has lived it reinforces why this work matters so much. We are incredibly grateful to Bella for sharing her heart and helping us become more understanding, thoughtful parents.

It was more than a virtual class. It was perspective, growth, and a powerful reminder to always see divorce through our children’s eyes.